Adult webcam greek - 1st year sobriety and no dating
Even though I was picky the first one was a total loser even though he was a big deal architecture professor and all that.
I think I wouldnt have been capable of dating and seeking a relationship for several years after getting sober myself!
I do see people falling in love and all early in AA and I see a lot of heartache, pain and resentments and anger from it too. There is nothing in AA literature about time spans excepted for the new person giving AA a year to see if it works for them. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times.
they are the ones that go from new comer to new comer. but it doesn't last long, soon the cracks start to show, as i try to take them prisoner based on fear that they will leave me.i had a good heart and i would be so loving but the down side was they had to be there for me or else i would turn nasty and controlling, i would take them my prisonor but i couldnt see it, i never knew this was a problem as its how i had always been in aa the old timers knew this about me hence they would tell me not to rush into a new relationship as i wouldn't of had the time yet to start to face me and to start the long road of danger is and happens over and over is 2 people meet up in aa they both rush headlong in love and dress it up in there minds that its what there god has sent them etc then they find out after they live together just what the person is really like at home, it then becomes a mad place for them both to be in and if there not long enough around or have worked on themselves it will end in tears, what happens when pain comes along ?
Robert Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!! I'm new to the forums and am thrilled to find the same sort of welcoming spirit here that I find in real-life meetings. I have been prayerfully considering all of this and I am beginning to think that, for the sake of being unselfish and for consideration of the other person's well being, I may want to propose a break in our contact. Wow; you've just spoilt my unbroken run of 'alkies who don't listen and get into relationships anyway'. Please keep posting; I've found this forum a great help to,... it seems like a good idea to have a drink on itso they could both end up back on the drink and might never come back again hence the strong advice would be to wait a good while before having a go at a relationshipi know a good few people in aa who still cling on to there partners, they can not bear to be on there own, etc i see my old self in them and i know that fear as i had to face it and like always when facing those fears its never as black as it might seemi love being on my own these days, i feel no strong need or urge to have a relationship, i dont miss having someone there for me, but thats because i have had to cope on my own for so long i am used to it, i met a girl not so long ago who cared about me and i couldn't handle it i didnt want her help as she felt sorry for me or felt the need to care for me and it made me run away faster than anything as that was how i always picked my women in the past, it was if i could take care of them i would be drawn to them its a huge minefield is relationships and co dependency but the steps for me shown me the real me and how i dont have to be like that anymore i do feel sorry for the people in aa who have clung on in a relationship out of fear of being alone, as there really is nothing to be scared of one old timer whos wife walked out on him a short while ago, was on his knees begging his wife to come back to him and it reminded me of me and how i never want to be that weak ever againit really is amazing when i look back as i came to aa for help with my drink problem and i found a lot more than that My thoughts on relationships in early sobriety?
My sponsor said to read the part about sex in the BIg Book of AA, it talks of selfcenteredness and dishonesty with ourselves in regard to sexual relationships, it helps to set a certain kindof attitude we strive for in these kinds of areas. I would recommend the new person get a solid foundation before the get into a relationship which is what the 12 & 12 refers to about changes. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)what i found out about me doing the steps is that i was co dependant on people, i needed a women in my life as i couldn't cope on my own, my life would be so empty if i didn't have one and the fear of being alone was the only reason i stayed in my 24 year marriagei was so worthless no one else would put up with me etc, so i clung on to my ex wife and put up with all sorts along the way just based on fear of facing life without her, hence when i was starting to get sober and my feet were better placed on the ground i started to look for a relationship.
There needs to be a word of caution about sexual predators in the rooms. in my mind it would be perfect, the excitement a new relationship brings is a huge high in itself.
The odds that any new romantic relationship any of us have before we've completely worked the Steps and applied AA's principles to all our affairs is going to turn into a happily-ever-after kind of thing are probably slim to none.
That doesn't mean we can't learn and grow from the experience even if it doesn't work out.
This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson As has been said, there are no hard and fast rules.
But like many, my sponsor strongly suggested I make no major changes in the first two years. Hi kmith, I'm no old timer, but I've been around recovery for long enough to understand the dynamics here, and the chances are that new relationships in early sobriety don't tend to pan out very well.
It was a good suggestion for me as the ones I'd had in mind early on probably wouldn't have worked out so well. Inside me I have a "Knower" deep down inside where we hold our deepest knowledge of right and wrong. Just don't let those mistakes drive off the course where we end up drunk or dead. During the first year, such moves can be especially radical. My suggestion would be to wait and put your focus on your sobriety; a sponsor, the steps, some service and some time. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. My sponsor was understanding but she didn't think it would work out.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating