selected for updating - 1st year sobriety and no dating

well i dont think i have changed enough to be able to give them everything they want without me trying to get my own way yet !! The next 10 years were well filled with raising my kids on my own, getting and keeping a job and going to school to try to earn a better living.

By the time I started dating, about 20 years sobriety by then, I was pretty picky about the guys I considered.

What are your thoughts on connections and relationships in early sobriety? Unfortunately, because our libidos tend to "wake up" long before our brains become fully functional again (takes about a year) it's very good advice that is rarely followed by newcomers.

As long as you remember to not drink no matter what and keep going on your AA program, you'll be okay.

Keep coming back....“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children..leave the world a better place..know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

they are the ones that go from new comer to new comer. but it doesn't last long, soon the cracks start to show, as i try to take them prisoner based on fear that they will leave me.i had a good heart and i would be so loving but the down side was they had to be there for me or else i would turn nasty and controlling, i would take them my prisonor but i couldnt see it, i never knew this was a problem as its how i had always been in aa the old timers knew this about me hence they would tell me not to rush into a new relationship as i wouldn't of had the time yet to start to face me and to start the long road of danger is and happens over and over is 2 people meet up in aa they both rush headlong in love and dress it up in there minds that its what there god has sent them etc then they find out after they live together just what the person is really like at home, it then becomes a mad place for them both to be in and if there not long enough around or have worked on themselves it will end in tears, what happens when pain comes along ?

Robert Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!! I'm new to the forums and am thrilled to find the same sort of welcoming spirit here that I find in real-life meetings. I have been prayerfully considering all of this and I am beginning to think that, for the sake of being unselfish and for consideration of the other person's well being, I may want to propose a break in our contact. Wow; you've just spoilt my unbroken run of 'alkies who don't listen and get into relationships anyway'. Please keep posting; I've found this forum a great help to,... it seems like a good idea to have a drink on itso they could both end up back on the drink and might never come back again hence the strong advice would be to wait a good while before having a go at a relationshipi know a good few people in aa who still cling on to there partners, they can not bear to be on there own, etc i see my old self in them and i know that fear as i had to face it and like always when facing those fears its never as black as it might seemi love being on my own these days, i feel no strong need or urge to have a relationship, i dont miss having someone there for me, but thats because i have had to cope on my own for so long i am used to it, i met a girl not so long ago who cared about me and i couldn't handle it i didnt want her help as she felt sorry for me or felt the need to care for me and it made me run away faster than anything as that was how i always picked my women in the past, it was if i could take care of them i would be drawn to them its a huge minefield is relationships and co dependency but the steps for me shown me the real me and how i dont have to be like that anymore i do feel sorry for the people in aa who have clung on in a relationship out of fear of being alone, as there really is nothing to be scared of one old timer whos wife walked out on him a short while ago, was on his knees begging his wife to come back to him and it reminded me of me and how i never want to be that weak ever againit really is amazing when i look back as i came to aa for help with my drink problem and i found a lot more than that My thoughts on relationships in early sobriety?

The last time I got sober, I sought recovery like a drowning man does a life preserver.

I was seeing a young lady at the time who was a tremendous emotional support. She's my wife today and she's got my number, meaning she knows the disease, she knows my history, she understands the whole deal, and I'm very lucky. There are a lot of variables: the two people's personalities, recovery motivation, their realistic view of the situation, the non-alcoholics desire to support the alcoholic as well as explore their own recovery.

My thoughts today are that people in recovery should have a lot of friends, but intimate relationships are just really slippery for a while.

At least 6 months, most treatment centers say a year.

My sponsor still strongly encourages me to take one year off from talking to men. Is your sponsor advising you to not talk to men or to not get involved in a relationship with one for a year?

But this really feels like an exception to the rule! There are really no rules in AA concerning this but I think your sponsor is giving you the same good advice that most AA sponsors generally give every newcomer.

We had a really amazingly honest, open, fun, human connection-- nothing weird happened, he doesn't drink either-- and now we talk on the phone daily.

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